These real-life case studies show how family mediation has resolved disputes about children and finances. You can contact us to ask about how family mediation can help in your circumstances.
How family mediation helped Suzanna and Darren agree finance and child arrangements
Suzanna and Darren sought mediation to come to a financial settlement and set up child arrangements for their four-year-old son, Connor. The couple recently separated after a 12 year marriage. Both were committed to keeping the process amicable, minimising legal fees, and prioritising Connor's well-being.
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All mediation sessions took place via video call, with both Suzanna and Darren eager use the most convenience and cost-effective format. After three mediation sessions, they reached agreements on Connor’s care and their financial settlement, allowing them to proceed with a Consent Order.
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Challenges before Family Mediation
Before entering family mediation, Suzanna and Darren faced the following challenges:
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Arrangements for Connor: they needed a structured plan that would ensure minimal disruption to Connor’s life while maintaining balanced time between both parents.
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Financial settlement: they needed to agree on the division of assets, including their home and pensions, as well as make arrangements for any financial obligations.
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Communication issues: while both were willing to negotiate, both clients felt communicating was difficult. Darren felt unheard, and Suzanna felt there was an imbalance of power.
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The Family Mediation Process
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Initial Meetings (MIAM). The mediator conducted individual Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings (MIAMs) with both Suzanna and Darren. During these meetings, both expressed a desire to prioritise Connor and keep the process straightforward, while Suzanna, whose first language wasn’t English, confirmed she felt confident participating without an interpreter. These initial meetings laid the groundwork for a constructive mediation process. Learn more about the MIAM session here.
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Establishing Ground Rules. At the beginning of their first joint session, the mediator established ground rules, including a focus on respectful conversation and equal participation.
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Identifying Key Issues. Both clients agreed that their primary goals were to maintain an amicable relationship, prioritise Connor’s well-being, and minimise what they spent on professional fees. Darren wanted a 50/50 division of assets, while Suzanna was more cautious and unsure of her financial future. The mediator helped both clients to carefully consider and clarify their future needs and circumstances.
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Exploring Financial Options. Financial disclosure was a critical step in the mediation. The mediator guided both Suzanna and Darren through the requirements of full financial disclosure. The mediator collated information into an Open Financial Statement, which clearly set out their joint finances including details about their home, pensions, savings, cars, and debts. The mediator guided them through the disclosure methodically, ensuring they understood the requirements and implications.
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Discussing Child Arrangements: Connor’s care arrangements were naturally a sensitive and importance topic for both parents. Suzanna made initial suggestions, which were rejected by Darren. With the mediator’s guidance, both clients brainstormed further options and ultimately agreed on a 2/2/3 day schedule, allowing Connor to spend approximately equal time with both parents. Both parents ultimately felt this arrangement should ensure stability and consistency in Connor’s life. They committed to returning to mediation to discuss Connor's needs if either felt the arrangement we not working well.
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Pension Options. When it came to pensions, Darren proposed that they each keep their own pensions, stating that he had contributed more to purchasing their joint home. Suzanna was concerned about her low pensions savings due to being out of work for a period when Connor was young. The mediator carefully explained the potential benefits of involving a Pension on Divorce Expert (PODE) to help explore this topic, but respected the couple’s decision to proceed without one. The options available were discussed, and both clients considered the pros and cons of each option with the mediator's assistance. The clients were able to negotiate an agreement on pensions and all financial areas, which was formally documented by the mediator, allowing the clients to take legal advice and make their agreement legally binding.
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Outcome
By the end of the mediation process, Suzanna and Darren had:
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Arrangement for Connor focussed on his well-being: they agreed on a 2/2/3 day schedule where Connor saw both parents and provided stability and routine.
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A financial settlement: Darren and Suzanna agreed to sell their home, share the proceeds, and share out one pension scheme.
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Improved communication: through mediation, Suzanna and Darren were able to discuss and address sensitive issues such as finances and child arrangements with less conflict, ensuring future co-parenting discussions would remain constructive.
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The Benefits of Family Mediation
Family mediation provided Suzanna and Darren with:
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A cost-effective solution: By avoiding court, they saved time and money while reaching a resolution that worked for both clients.
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A child-focused approach: Connor’s needs remained central to all decisions.
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Equal participation: the mediator ensured that both parent's voice was heard, balancing power dynamics between clients and facilitating a more equitable negotiation.
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Clear, actionable agreements: the mediator helped draft a detailed Summary of Proposals (also known as a Memorandum of Understanding), allowing the clients to take individual legal advice and formalise their agreements with a Consent Order.
Through mediation, Suzanna and Darren transformed a potentially contentious divorce into a collaborative process, resulting in long-term solutions that benefited both parents and, most importantly, their child, Connor.
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How family mediation helped Mark and Donna agree child arrangements
Mark and Donna are the parents of two young children, William (6 years old) and Dennis (4). After six years together, they separated and within a year their communication had broken down completely. Mark reached out to a mediator at Online Mediation to help resolve several issues concerning their children, including day-to-day arrangements, school holidays, special occasions, communication, financial responsibilities, and decisions about their children’s education.
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The mediation process was crucial in helping Mark and Donna find a mutually agreeable path forward without escalating their conflicts through the court system.
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Challenges Before Mediation
Mark and Donna were struggling with the following:
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Inconsistent and limited communication: they communicated mostly through text messages, which often ended in conflict.
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Care arrangements for their boys: Mark felt he wasn’t getting equitable time with his children and wanted more overnight stays.
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Special occasions and holidays: the clients were unable to agree on plans for birthdays, Christmas, and other significant events.
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Child maintenance: while Mark paid £600 per month, Donna expressed that this was insufficient to cover childcare costs, causing further tension.
Mark and Donna’s situation was typical of many separated parents—strained communication and disagreements on key parenting issues, leading to emotional and financial stress for both.
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The Mediation Process
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Individual meetings (MIAMs). Both Mark and Donna attended a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM). The mediator individually assessed their willingness and suitability for mediation. Mark expressed his desire to avoid court and improve communication, while Donna expressed concerns about reliability and the fairness of financial arrangements. Despite their differing perspectives, both agreed to move forward with joint mediation sessions.
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Setting Ground Rules: During their first joint session, the mediator established a structured and respectful environment. Ground rules were created, including focusing discussions on the children’s needs, ensuring neither client interrupted the other, and maintaining a civil tone.
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Identifying Key Issues: the mediator helped both parents clarify the core topics that needed resolution. These included routine arrangements for the children, holidays, overseas travel, and financial contributions. Both parents expressed their perspectives while the mediator facilitated the discussion, ensuring that the children’s best interests remained central.
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Exploring Solutions: through structured conversations, the mediator encouraged both parents to brainstorm and offer new solutions. Mark proposed a more equitable care arrangements, and Donna, while initially frustrated, began to share new ideas for discussion. The mediator reframed some charged statements from both clients into constructive discussions focused on the children’s well-being.
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Financial Arrangements: one of the most challenging topics was child maintenance. Donna revealed that rising childcare costs were making it difficult for her, while Mark believed he was paying enough. With the mediator’s guidance, they explored options such as employer-supported childcare vouchers, tax reliefs, and direct financial contributions. Eventually, Mark agreed to increase his financial support, including utilising workplace benefits to ease the burden.
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Developing a Parenting Plan: By their third mediation session, Mark and Donna had successfully discussed all of their concerns. The mediator helped them craft a detailed Parenting Plan, covering everything from routine visits to school holidays, financial contributions, and communication about the children’s extracurricular activities. This plan provided a structured yet flexible framework for co-parenting, reducing future conflicts.
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Outcome
By the end of the mediation process, Mark and Donna had:
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A balanced care arrangement: they agreed on a consistent and fair schedule for the children to spend time with each parent, ensuring stability for William and Dennis.
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Improved communication: with clear guidelines in place for phone and video calls, both parents could communicate better with each other.
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Financial agreement: Mark committed to increasing his financial support by using a workplace childcare scheme, and both parents gained clarity on how costs would be shared.
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A structured Parenting Plan: This comprehensive document helped solidify their agreements, ensuring that both parents understood their responsibilities and could move forward amicably.
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The Benefits of Mediation
Mediation provided Mark and Donna with:
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Child-focused resolutions: the mediator kept William and Dennis’s well-being at the heart of every discussion, ensuring that both parents were focused on what was best for their children.
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Cost-effectiveness: by avoiding court, they saved both time and money while finding a solution tailored to their family.
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Confidentiality: the mediation discussions were private, allowing them to openly share concerns without fear of judgement or legal repercussions.
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Improved relationships: with a clearer framework in place, Mark and Donna improved their co-parenting relationship, creating a more harmonious environment for their children.
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Mediation transformed what could have been a prolonged and contentious court battle into a collaborative process, resulting in long-term solutions that benefited both parents and, most importantly, their children.
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How family mediation helped Lorraine and Geoff settle their finances after divorce
Lorraine and Geoff had been married for 11 years before deciding to divorce, and were navigating the financial implications of their separation. They have three adult children who live independently, so the focus of their mediation was on sorting out their finances, primarily their house and pensions. They both wanted to ensure they could meet their future needs and settle their finances amicably and efficiently.
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The mediation process consisted of three sessions, all held over Zoom, during which Lorraine and Geoff worked through financial disclosure and explored settlement options. After coming to joint proposals, they requested a Summary of Proposals to seek legal advice and proceed with implementation.
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Challenges Before Mediation
Before the mediation, Lorraine and Geoff faced the following challenges:
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Dividing financial assets: They needed to decide how to split the proceeds from the sale of their house and how to handle their multiple pension schemes.
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Inheritance complexities: Geoff had recently lost his father and expected to receive an inheritance, which added emotional and financial complexity to their discussions.
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Differing financial needs: Lorraine needed immediate access to capital, particularly to purchase a car for work, while Geoff was more focused on long-term pension considerations.
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The Mediation Process
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Initial Sessions and Disclosure: each client attended a MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) to provide individual information and assess their suitability for mediation. In their first joint session, the mediator set the stage by reviewing the financial disclosure process and explaining how the information shared would aid in decision-making, obtaining legal advice, and finalising the agreement in court. Both clients expressed their desire for the division of assets to meet their respective needs while remaining fair and transparent. Lorraine, living with her parents, faced stress due to her current situation, while Geoff was also grieving the recent loss of his father. The mediator ensured both parties felt heard and validated, building trust and rapport.
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Exploring Housing Options: Geoff and Lorraine’s primary concern was how to divide the proceeds from the sale of their jointly owned home. Lorraine initially suggested a 60/40 split in her favour, arguing that Geoff could retain more of the pension value. Geoff, however, preferred a 50/50 split. The mediator guided them to consider their accommodation needs, prompting them to research available properties and mortgage capacities. Geoff agreed to explore his mortgage options, and they moved toward a mutual understanding that further exploration was needed before final decisions could be made.
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Pension Discussions: The couple’s combined pension assets were significant, and both were unsure how best to proceed. The mediator explained the various options, including pension sharing, offsetting, and attachment, while also suggesting that they consult a Pensions on Divorce Expert (PODE). Lorraine expressed concerns about the costs associated with sharing pensions, as she needed liquid capital more urgently. The mediator emphasised that pensions and cash are different types of assets and encouraged them to seek advice from legal professionals before making a final decision.
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Handling inheritance sensitively: one of the most emotionally charged topics was how to handle Geoff’s upcoming inheritance. Lorraine initially suggested that this should be included in the financial settlement, which triggered a strong emotional response from Geoff. The mediator assisted, acknowledging the sensitivity of the issue while steering the discussion back to exploring a range of options in a calm manner at the client's pace.
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Finalising Agreements: In the final session, Lorraine and Geoff focused on implementation of their proposals. They agreed on a Pension Sharing Order (PSO) for two of Geoff’s pensions and confirmed their plan to split the house equity in a way that benefited both clients. The mediator ensured that their proposals were practical and aligned with their respective financial needs. They also discussed the costs involved in implementing the Pension Sharing Order and drafting a Consent Order.
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Outcome
By the end of the mediation process, Lorraine and Geoff had:
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A clear financial settlement: They agreed on how to divide the house equity and pensions.
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A balanced outcome: With the mediator’s help, they navigated emotionally charged topics such as inheritance, without derailing the negotiation process.
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Practical implementation: the clients considered practical issues such as implementing a Pension Sharing Order and obtaining a Consent Order, ensuring their settlement was legally binding and could be finalised in court.
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The Benefits of Mediation
Mediation provided Lorraine and Geoff with:
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A structured and empathetic process: The mediator helped them navigate emotional complexities, especially around inheritance and the loss of a family member, in a way that kept discussions productive.
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Cost and time efficiency: by avoiding court and working through their settlement collaboratively, they saved time and minimised legal fees.
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A tailored financial solution: the mediation allowed for a customised solution that balanced both immediate and long-term financial needs, including pensions, property, and inheritance.
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An empowering experience: Both Lorraine and Geoff gained a deeper understanding of their financial situation and made informed decisions with the mediator’s impartial support.
Through mediation, Lorraine and Geoff successfully addressed their financial issues and moved forward with a plan that reflected both their individual needs and their shared goals. The process helped them manage conflict, avoid costly litigation, and reach a settlement that supported their future financial stability.
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*Names and identifying details have been changed to ensure privacy.