Pet disputes during separation: sorting arrangements through Online Mediation

When a relationship ends, sorting out your finances and making arrangements for children are usually the most talked-about challenges. But for many separating couples, another vital issue arises: what happens to the beloved family pet? At Online Mediation, we understand that pets are cherished members of the family, and disputes over their future can be incredibly difficult. Fortunately, family mediation, especially conducted via video-call, offers a constructive and accessible way to find solutions that work for everyone, including your pet.

How UK law views pets

It often comes as a surprise to separating couples that, in the eyes of the law in England and Wales, pets are generally considered ‘chattels’ – essentially, personal property, much like a car or furniture. This means that unlike arrangements for children, there isn't a legal framework for "pet custody" that prioritises the animal's welfare or emotional attachments in the same way.

If agreement can't be reached, and the matter goes to court (which can be costly and stressful), a judge will consider proof of ownership, for example:

• Who originally purchased or adopted the pet?

• Whose name is on the microchip registration and vet records?

• Who primarily paid for the pet’s expenses (food, insurance, vet bills)?

• Who was the main caregiver?

While some recent 2025 court cases have shown considerations of a pet's welfare and routine, the general legal view is that ownership remains important. The law can and does change, and there is wide discretion for judges. This is why proactive engagement in mediation and seeking agreement is still the preferred option.

Common Pet-Related Disputes

Disagreements during separation and divorce often include:

• Who the pet will live with primarily.

• Whether shared care is feasible or desirable.

• How ongoing costs (vet bills, food, insurance, grooming) will be shared.

• Arrangements for one party to still see the pet if it lives with the other.

  
  

These disputes are often emotionally charged because of the deep bonds we form with our animals. The thought of losing contact with a pet can be another painful part of a separation.

This is where family mediation, and specifically the convenient service we offer at Online Mediation, can provide a lifeline. Mediation is a process where a neutral third party, the mediator, helps you and your ex-partner have a constructive conversation to reach your own mutually acceptable agreements.

What are the benefits of mediation for pet disputes?

We've compiled 7 of the immediate benefits of mediation for pet disputes below. Contact us for more information on 0800 133 7303, or you can book an appointment here.

1. Focus on Welfare, Not Just Ownership: While the law generally sees pets as property, mediation allows you to focus on what’s genuinely best for your pet. You can consider their routine, their bonds with each of you (and any children), their health needs, and the environment each of you can offer.

2. Reduced Conflict & Stress: Court battles can be adversarial and damaging. Mediation, especially from the comfort and familiarity of your own home via video-call, provides a calmer, less intimidating environment to discuss sensitive issues. This can be particularly helpful when emotions are running high.

3. Cost-Effective Solutions: Legal fees for contested court proceedings can escalate quickly. Mediation is generally a much more affordable way to resolve disputes.

4. Creative and Tailored Agreements: Unlike a court-imposed order which might be quite rigid, mediation allows you to create flexible and detailed arrangements that suit your specific circumstances and your pet’s unique needs.

5. Convenience and Accessibility: With Online Mediation, geography isn't a barrier. Whether you’re in different towns or find it difficult to travel, you can access mediation easily. This also saves time and travel costs.

6. Confidential Space: Mediation is a private process, allowing you to explore options openly and honestly.

7. Shuttle Mediation Option: If direct communication is too difficult, online mediation can facilitate ‘shuttle mediation’, where the mediator speaks to each of you in separate virtual rooms, relaying proposals and helping you inch towards an agreement without direct confrontation.

Common Pet Arrangements Reached Through Mediation

Through Online Mediation, couples can agree on a variety of arrangements for their shared pets, such as:

• Primary Residence: The pet lives primarily with one person, with agreed contact for the other (e.g., weekend stays, regular walks).

• Shared Care: Similar to child arrangements, the pet might spend roughly equal time in both homes, with clear schedules for handovers. This works best if both parties live relatively close and can maintain consistency for the pet.

• Financial Responsibilities: Clear agreements on who pays for what, including food, vet check-ups, unexpected medical treatment, insurance, and grooming.

• Decision-Making: How will major decisions, like significant veterinary procedures, be made?

• Future Changes: Agreeing on a process for reviewing arrangements if circumstances change significantly for either party or for the pet.

Once you've reached an agreement in your mediation sessions, your mediator can carefully document the decisions you have made in writing to avoid misunderstandings and doubt about your plans.

Take the Next Step with Online Mediation

Separating is hard enough without the added stress of a dispute over your beloved pet. At Online Mediation, we provide a supportive, practical, and accessible way to reach agreements that honour the bond you share with your animal and allow everyone to move forward. If you’re facing a dispute about your pet during separation, contact Online Mediation today to find out how our family mediation services can help you find a positive outcome.

While dogs and cats are the most common pets we discuss, we help with all pets arrangements, including birds, rabbits, tortoises, guinea pigs, hamsters, ferrets and snakes!

Contact us for more information on 0800 133 7303, or you can book an appointment here.

Disclaimer

This blog content was correct as of August 2025, but things can change so you should speak to us for current information. Any legal information provided is for general information and does not constitute legal advice.