Every year, thousands of people are using mediation to sort out the practical aspects of their separation and divorce, so that they can move on with their lives in a way that perhaps they never thought was possible.
Separation is a really frightening process. There are all sorts of worries going on for people such as where will I live? How will I see my children? Will I have enough money? Feeling the loss and the rejection of a break-up – it’s a very, very difficult time. You go into fight or flight mode, you go into adrenaline, you lose the ability to listen.
One of the most basic things we do is enable everyone to have their say. The mediator introduces ground rules. The mediator introduces a definite process and guides you so that you can get to where you need to get to in a way that isn’t fraught with animosity and doesn’t run the risk of breaking down.
And this is how it works. The whole process is guided by a highly skilled professional mediator who will remain impartial throughout. They’ll begin by developing a detailed understanding of your situation and your aspirations for the future. They’ll then conduct a series of meetings, structured and facilitated, to help guide you towards a solution.
Mediation sessions will help you 'really-test' potential solutions in a balanced way. So any decision you reach is well informed and considered by you both. Along the way, they’ll be helping you work out what the important issues are and give you all the relevant information you need to reach an agreement. You can use mediation to create a plan for how you will continue to co-parent together; arrangements for your children; and your finances, including any property, pensions, assets and debts.
Mediation is a kinder, more human way of being able to separate. It isn’t separation itself that damages children. It’s how parents do it.
Children often feel a real responsibility when parents separate, and involving children in the mediation process is designed to help children and young people have their voice heard, but not put the responsibility on them for determining the outcome.
Everyone knows there are no winners in the process of separation and divorce. Going to court can be incredibly harmful and have long term effects for all the family. Mediation approaches it differently. It’s about problem solving. It’s about working together collaboratively to find a solution that works best for you and the family as a whole.
We hope the video helps explain how mediation can help. We're ready to answer any questions you might have about your specific circumstance, so do get in touch - we're here to help.